Dealing With Fear And Uncertainty

Have you ever thought about fear, and how it impacts your day-to-day?

When you live in fear, it can get to a point where you will hardly notice it. Fear is often the driving force behind difficult relationships, low self-confidence, and unhealthy habits.

Living in fear affects how you show up in the world, negatively affecting all manner of relationships, and ultimately, making you unhappy. Living in fear is about always feeling that something bad is about to happen.

For this first segment I have given some statements for you to consider, to see if, or how fear is affecting you.

  •  Fear can stop you from chasing after any type of ambition.
  • You have been living with fear for so long, you feel bad or miserable more often than not.

  • Fear has had an adverse affect on your sleep pattern.

  • You often find that you have caused misunderstanding, disagreement, confrontation or hostilities between yourself and/or those around you because of your fear.

  • Fear keeps you motivated to stay busy.

  • In the past you have found that you have been deceived in some way because of your fear.

  • You often try to avoid making decisions because of fear.

  • You have either agreed TO DO something or agreed to NOT DO something just to please someone out of fear.

  • In the past fear has stopped you from making any decisions or from taking any action in certain circumstances.

  • You often go over your work again and again in fear of missing some small or trivial detail.

  • You get annoyed, angry, or upset because of change – change frightens you.

  • Because of fear, you are constantly worried that everything is okay with everybody and when it’s not, you need to be the one to fix it.

  • You often fail to “be good to you” because you have so much to keep your eye on.

  • You find yourself making apologies when none are needed. It seems that this is almost a cultural thing in the UK these days.

  • Sometimes you snap at those close to you, or you easily lose your temper because you are afraid in some way.

  • You often find yourself complaining when you are afraid or uncertain of something.

Fear will affect many people in different ways.

In this segment I want to list more ways that fear can show up for you that you may or may not be familiar with…

  • When you’re around other people you feel intimidated.

  • You often feel a need to defend your decisions.

  • You avoid difficult discussions around misunderstandings.

  • You find it difficult to get rid of possessions or you hold onto certain things “just in case”.

  • You are reluctant to talk about yourself or your ideas.

  • You feel a need to impress others.

Now let’s look at other ways that fear affects people in general:

  • Easily get distracted – little or no concentration.

  • Fear affects the physical body and can often be the cause of ill-health.

  • People use work, exercise, alcohol or nicotine to relieve stress associated with fear.

  • Fearful people do certain things only because they feel obliged to do so.

  • When we live in fear it can become difficult to be around negative people.

  • Fear can cause you to be unappreciative of the things you have, the people closest to you, or your personal accomplishments.

  • Fear causes you to become greedy or selfish.

  • Living with constant fear will almost certainly cause you a feeling of hopelessness.

Fear is also an obvious barrier to accessing your innate wisdom.

Where there is fear there is no intuition, relationships and communicating with others is problematic, aspirations become unfulfilled or unimagined dreams, self-acceptance and self-care slip away and happiness is impossible.

So, how can you tell if you’re “living in fear”?

It might seem obvious that some of the results of living in fear are exactly the same as some of the symptoms of fear. Consider …

  • When you forget to appreciate all that is good or right in your day-to-day.

  • When you become defensive for any reason or have confrontations with others more frequently.

  • When you begin complaining about things you have no control over.

  • When you start getting annoyed, frustrated or angry with whatever is happening and/or with whoever or whatever you perceive as the cause of it.

  • When you start to feel worried when you perceive that something is about to change or has already changed.

  • When you start to feel hopeless and destined to fail.

  • When you start taking sides in other people’s arguments – drama etc.

  • When you start feeling grumpy and can’t figure out why.

  • When you find yourself judging others.

  • When you start using a crutch such as food, medication, or alcohol in order to “cope”.

  • When you ignore a hunch or a gut feeling to do or not do something.

When we fail to address feelings of uncertainty and fear, ultimately, we will cause our own suffering. Not only that, but, failure to deal with constant fear will cause exactly what we fear in the first place.

So, how can you tell if you are in a state of fear? Consider the following questions:

  • Have you ever felt a need to control a situation?

  • Have you ever felt that you had something to prove?

  • Have you ever felt that you just couldn’t “catch a break”?

  • Have you ever felt more concerned with the outcome of something rather than enjoying the process?

  • Have you ever felt guilty and afraid of being punished for doing or not doing something?

  • Have you ever felt confronted even when no confrontation was intended by the other person/people?

  • Have you ever felt let down by someone you thought would “have your back”?

  • Have you ever felt a situation to be an extreme emergency only to find out later that you over-reacted?

  • Have you ever felt that it was extremely important that others agree that you were right?

  • Have you ever felt pressured into doing something that you really didn’t want to do?

  • Have you ever felt totally inadequate to handle a situation?

  • Have you ever felt reluctant or afraid to even think – never mind talk – about certain events or circumstances?

  • Have you ever felt that you had absolutely no power of intuition?

All of these feelings are signs of fear. And, when you know the signs, you are better equipped to take the necessary steps to get out of fear.

Finding relief from the effects of living in fear and the situations caused by it will be extremely difficult until we learn how to deal with it.

When fear dissolves, you are in a better state of mind, more able to “hear” or “intuit” your innate wisdom or inner voice, inner guidance, gut instinct, etc. which allows you to become better aware of answers and solutions to situations that previously would have frustrated and confused you.

In this final segment, I want to finish with 8 ways to move out of fear.

Regardless of what’s causing your fear, trying one or more of these 8 solutions might help.

  1. Have a plan B to turn to if things don’t turn out as you expected.

  2. Use affirmations.

    • Don’t let your mind run wild with negative thoughts – replace those thoughts with positive ones.

    • Your sense of well-being is directly linked with your thought processes – whether positive or negative.

    • Keep an eye on the live broadcast schedule on the Facebook page or on the homepage for a live-stream all about affirmations.

  1. Turn your attention to the things that are going well.

    • If you focus too much on what you imagine might go wrong, your fear will increase.

  1. Get in the zone

    • This is about living in the moment rather than worrying about what might happen in the future or trying to resolve the past.

    • All you have to do is focus only on what is happening right now.

  1. Do something

    • If you feel overwhelmed or confused by what lies before you, start by breaking it down.

    • Begin with whatever you see as the first necessary step.

    • Next, what is the next logical step.

    • If you see more than one next logical step – choose one – and so on.

  1.  Stop doing anything

    • If you keep trying and it seems like you’re getting nowhere, do nothing – even if you feel a sense of urgency. That sense of urgency is the fear.

    • That fear (or sense of urgency) will block any solutions.

    • Take a break and relax – do something completely unrelated and come back to the situation with a clear mind.

    • Let your innate wisdom take over.

  1. Try some meditation – You could combine this with number 6

    • The more urgent things seem, the more hyped up you are likely to feel.

    • You will start talking, breathing and moving faster.

    • All of this will escalate your sense of urgency.

    • Take a deep breath and relax.

    • Try just observing the rhythm of your natural breathing.

    • If it’s shallow, take a few deep breaths

    • 5 or 10 minutes is often enough to clear the mind.

  1. Face The Fear Head-on

    • When all else fails, move into the fear.

    • This is quite obviously the most difficult solution.

    • Situations that never resolve are often the result of avoidance – you are trying to avoid whatever it is that you’re afraid of.

    • Your fear will only intensify and become prolonged if you avoid dealing with it.

    • Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” and accept your conclusion.

    • Think of the one thing that could realistically happen that brings you the most fear and give it permission to do so.

    • When you do that, the fear will leave you allowing you to move forward.

The thing you think is the problem is not the problem. The real problem is your fear. When you eliminate the fear, you will know peace and you will be better able to listen to your own inner still voice – your innate wisdom – and you will intuitively know how to handle any situation, whatever the circumstances.

If you would like to talk confidentially about how fear is affecting you. Consider getting in touch with me via the website.

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