Did you know that our entire human experience is, and always has been about moving from a lower Player Level up to at least one higher Player Level?
Let me explain…
Level One Players of The Game of Life live from the ego-perspective – to put it bluntly, they are ego-centric, which means they have a “centre of the universe” mindset. They truly believe that the world revolves around them. This is not meant to be judgmental, it is merely an observation.
Most often, it can take some kind of challenge to nudge or jolt a Level One Player from their limited world-view.
I’ll talk about that in my next post.
Level One Players almost always have uncompromising, rigid views, opinions and beliefs – they have long made up their minds about what is wrong and what is right, what is bad and what is good, and what should remain and what needs to change.
This rigid mind-set can make communication difficult for the Level One Player, not least when they get to the point when they might consider seeking the help of a life-coach.
In this post, I want to talk about the various listening styles of Level One Players of The Game of Life – and later I’ll talk about the 3 levels of Inner Dialogue pertaining to each Player Level. My intention is that, between the two sections, it might become clear how one persons’ listening style can either help or hinder their “Game” so to speak and how or whether they are likely to move between the levels, whether with or without the assistance of a life-coach.
Below is a list of listening styles that Level Ones use, quite unconsciously, when they’re communicating with others.
Listening To Blame
Level Ones believe that every situation has a cause and effect, that there is always someone or something to blame, and that “they” need to be held accountable.
Deciding who or what is wrong or right is the intent behind “Listening to Blame”.
This “mind-set” is perpetuated by media coverage of such incidents as airline or large-scale traffic accidents for example, where inquiries and inquests normally follow.
Level One Players like to keep themselves busy.
“I can multi-task” is the mantra of the Player who listens (or pretends to listen) whilst busy. They believe, and want you to believe, that they can “listen with one ear” (not always possible).
They will, insensitively, try to hold a conversation with you whilst watching TV or looking at the latest notifications on their mobile phone.
Level One Players tend to allow their thoughts and emotions to run the show.
It’s quite impossible to communicate with someone who is constantly in fight (anger) or flight (fear).
Quite obviously, negative emotions severely interfere with anyone’s ability to listen.
Ego-Centric or Self-Centred Listening
The primary focus of the Level One Player of The Game of Life is, most often, “what is happening to me”.
Level One Players tend to talk more about themselves than anything else – and they rarely ever take the time to listen to what others are saying. If, or when they DO listen, they are primarily concerned with, “How does this affect me?” or “What does this mean for me?”
And, because they are frequently hyper-sensitive, Level One Players can easily take innocent comments personally and will feel offended, which only leads to more drama.
Listening To Respond
This is not listening with the intention to listen.
Listening to respond is listening with the intention to respond with some relatable experience or opinion.
This is busy-mind-listening.
Level One Players of The Game of Life often have loads of seemingly unmanageable thoughts going on in their mind.
When we have a busy mind, we are more concerned with such things as what we have to get done, going over events from the past, having a reaction to something that’s happening, worrying about something – or more than one thing, or imagining some disastrous sequence of events that could, but probably will not happen at some point in the future.
When a Level One Player listens to respond, they are often listening with the intent to predict what the speaker is about to say and deciding what they will say in return.
I will stay with the topic of having a busy mind for the next part of this post. Firstly, though, I think it’s important for me to point out that, as a coach, it is imperative that I am aware of these types of “listening styles”, (and any others), and that I develop and maintain the ability to listen deeply to what is being said. That’s why it is far more beneficial and easier to support clients in person or over a video-call than any other method.
To continue with the subject of having a busy mind, did you know that everyone has inner dialogue – or, more precisely, an inner monologue?
For some it’s an endless torrent of thoughts that races through the mind, for others, however, it’s something quite different.
With respect to the 3 primary Player Levels of The Game of Life, I would like to talk about the main differences in how each level will experience its inner monologue.
See if you can spot where you identify with each level and the ways in which you experience them.
Level One Player Monologue
Level One Players hardly ever notice the monologue going on in their mind, and if they do notice it, they will pay very little attention to it – most of the time.
When a Level One Player becomes aware of their inner monologue, they may be firmly convinced that they have absolutely no control over it. For the most part, the Level One Player will have their attention firmly fixed on what is happening around them or, more precisely, what is happening to them.
Level One Player inner monologue tends to be fixed on such things as …
- Reacting to some event or other or to whatever is happening to them where they are.
- Whatever has been left undone or unfinished – chores and to-do lists.
- Overthinking past events and how they could have behaved differently.
- Imagining disastrous scenarios.
Level Two Player Monologue
Level Two Players of the Game of Life know that the monologue is important with respect to their day-to-day, what happens and how they experience it all.
Level Two Players spend most of their time thinking about how they can improve their life-experience.
Taking control of their inner monologue is most often the main focus of their attention.
Level Two Player inner monologue tends to be fixed on such things as …
- Setting goals that will result in their improving some aspect of their experience.
- Thinking creatively and coming up with creative ideas.
- Setting goals that will result in their obtaining more of something – possessions, wealth, social standing, etc.
- Asking questions and studying with a view and a desire to understand, learn or experience something.
- Mantras and affirmations
Level Three Player Monologue
Level Three Players of The Game of Life will have already begun to clear the chattering mind, they think more clearly, (less contaminated inner monologue), and will have a much quieter mind.
Level 3s are much more observant and are far more likely to follow their Innate Wisdom or Inner Guidance.
Level Three Player inner monologue tends to be fixed on such things as …
- Gratitude – being grateful for …
- Compassion and understanding of the human experience.
- Self-care – self-acceptance – self-love
- Acceptance and understanding of others and of all things just the way they are.
If most of your inner monologue is centred around Level One, take some time to notice how you feel most of the time.
- Is your experience a pleasant one?
- What things do you think about most?
- Do the things you think most often make you feel better or worse?
If your inner monologue doesn’t make you feel better, perhaps it’s time to change that by learning how to take control of your thoughts.
If most of your inner monologue is centred around Level Two, again, ask yourself, “How do I feel most of the time?”
Do the things you think most often make you feel better or worse?
Are you ready to end any struggle that you might be experiencing?
There is a way to let go of striving, trying, and struggling, but first, you need to identify the contaminated thought processes which block that from happening.
If you would like to discuss any aspect of this post via voice or video call, please do not hesitate to contact me to make arrangements.