The Ebb and Flow of Emotions

Consider this for a moment:
Peace of mind is not only a state of mind. Peace of mind is also a feeling.

Fear is a state of mind. But, fear also comes with a feeling. Anger and emotional ‘pain’ are also both states of mind that come with feelings. In fact, fear, pain, and anger seem to be the main causes of confusion precisely because they are both simultaneously states of mind and emotional states.

Sometimes we get so lost in old, familiar, so-called negative feelings to the point that mental states, such as joy, contentment, and excitement, seem to be feelings that were reserved only for our childhood years; as if it’s natural to outgrow these ‘positive feelings’ somehow.

I know what it feels like to suddenly feel insecure about being in a positive frame of mind as the result of many years of seemingly being unable to experience anything other than fear, pain, or anger. However, when I began my search for psychological and emotional well-being, I experienced more feelings of pleasure, and the more I realised that it was okay to be in a positive and peaceful frame of mind.

I remember thinking that something must be wrong with me if I wasn’t worrying, hurting, or angry about something – anything. Essentially, I would scare myself back into familiar feelings of discomfort and confusion. What I didn’t realise was that I had been crippling my own ability to experience positive thoughts and emotions – and to take subsequent positive action.

Eventually, the uncomfortable feelings that would creep in when I thought about how I was feeling, (those thoughts that would make me feel uneasy about good feelings), became less of a problem, over time.

When we get used to feeling and thinking in certain ways, it can feel as if that is how we are supposed to feel; as if “this is how I am and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Feeling anything other than what we have become used to can feel like we are entering a foreign land for the first time. We become a tourist in our own psychological and emotional landscape and we don’t know how to behave. We become a stranger to ourselves. Our first response is to seek the return to the familiarity of our old uncomfortable frame of mind; the thoughts, feelings, and actions that keep us from the peace of mind state that many of us are looking for.

We crave that which we crave freedom from when we experience the freedom.

Feeling good feels good. It’s okay to feel good, and it’s okay to be okay. The best way to get yourself out of a good feeling is to think about how you are feeling. In fact, feeling good and feeling positive and feeling joy or contentment require no justification, judgement, or analysis. They require only acceptance, to be felt, and to be enjoyed.

The more we experience the peace and tranquillity of positive thoughts, emotions, and actions, the more we can build immunity to negativity from ourselves and others.

We all have a right to feel our emotional and psychological best as often as we can. We also have a right to feel the inevitable, so-called negative emotions, when they happen. It is by feeling those emotions that we would rather do without that we come to appreciate the feelings that we wish to have more of. Our thoughts and emotions rise and fall like the ebb and flow of the tides of an ocean – and at every phase of the process, we are okay.

Feeling contentment, feeling peaceful, and feeling good are as natural as feeling fear, feeling pain and feeling anger.

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