Many would have us believe that problems are ‘part of life’. They tell us that there is something to learn from our problems. They tell us that there is a ‘gift’ in the problem. They tell us that it is our responsibility to ‘work through’ or ‘deal with’ our problems.
How do you feel about raising an issue when everyone else seems to be avoiding it?
How do you feel about letting others know that you have a so-called problem?
How do you feel about talking about your problems – or even talking with someone about their problems?
Denial seems to have become a way of life. Denial and avoidance of problems are no way to ‘deal’ with any situation.
How do we come to fear situations and circumstances and learn to call them problems?
Why do we spend more time reacting to circumstances, and calling them problems than we spend looking squarely at the situation in order to do what we can and leave alone what we can’t do anything about?
Very often, we feel that, if we have problems, it means people will see us in a negative light, or we feel that life is terrible. We feel that having a problem, (or more than one), means that we are inadequate in some way, as an individual. Yet, we are told that “All people have problems”.
Many of the problems we spend time on, trying to solve, are not our problems to solve. Much of the time, we spend a lot of mental energy just thinking about a situation that we see as a problem and do very little, if anything, about them. The fact is, there are many things that we call problems that we are actually powerless over; there’s nothing we can do about them.
Setting goals, we are often told, is the way forward and through our problems; if we set goals the problem will be solved.
Most often, though, the best thing we can do, if we see a problem, is to either let go or look at it differently; to see the facts of the situation.
No one has an exemption from situations that will seem like problems, and ‘problematic circumstances’ will always unfold throughout our time here. However, we can find a certain level of immunity to problems if we can begin to see things as they really are, rather than how we imagine them to be.
The truth of the matter is that much of what we call problems are sets of circumstances and situations in the world, outside of ourselves, that we have an internal reaction to and thus we call those situations problems. Were we to see the situation without our personal, interior, mental, and emotional reactions there would be no problem. If there were, indeed, a problem, we would be better able to equip ourselves with facts that might aid us in our ability to remedy the situation. This is most relevant if the situation, circumstance, or problem is ours to ‘solve’.
Sometimes, it can seem like our so-called problems have become insurmountable. This is when the ability to “distinguish the true from the false” becomes really important. Life is not against us. All that is required is a sincere desire to be free from this form of mental and emotional torture. We can free ourselves only when we are willing to investigate and examine what we find in ourselves.
‘Facing problems’, ‘solving problems’, ‘dealing with problems’ are all indications of the mind at play with itself – and we go along with it because that’s what we are told we must do – and we believe it. This is the problem, not the situations and circumstances that we inevitably face from time to time.
Facing and trying to solve problems is fruitless until we see exactly what the problem is. And, it is rarely what we perceive to be the problem precisely because we do not see that the problem is inside, not outside in the world.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The solution, by the very nature of the inquiry at hand, has to be pointed and personal.
All solutions, as prescribed in self-help scenarios, (books, programmes, etc.), are almost invariably a deception of the worst kind. Most people turn to these formulas only to find that they are empty and ineffective to any significant extent, yet we might seek one after another in an endless attempt to alleviate our suffering.
Only sincere and thorough observation and examination of ourselves will give the benefits we seek.
Although, it might also be said that the individuals who are actually willing to go to such lengths are quite rare.
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